DEATH PLACENTA 2009: $100 Televentures
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DEATH PLACENTA 2009: $100 Televentures
I've been looking for a project body to make my friend a decent starter Tele, and ran across a curious ad for a "Practice-use Tele" with Kent Armstrong Rails/standard Tele neck pups for the equivalent of $95. The pics he put up in the ad were only slightly suspicious...
So I meet the guy and he gives me the story. Old alder body from the early 90s, recently built neck with 12" radius, showing some wear around the first 3 frets but straight as an arrow and feels like a comfy modern thin deal of sorts, rings pretty well on .10s, acoustically twangs like a Tele. $100 easily covering the cost of the pickups, I look the thing over and see an interesting finish crack of sorts on top and notice how the thing has a dulled matte finish, being as he says "A well used guitar from the '90s". Stupid of me for not looking at it in the sunlight or under decent lighting, but I say what the heck and take the thing home.
A little finger working around the lower horn reveals that the whole top and back black finish are a very well-applied sticker! Ultrafooled but not thwarted, I peel things back to reveal a photofinished ugly birdseye image under a tacky wineburst, done over a nicely weighted alder body. I almost immediately dropped it off at my friend's repair joint, and he took it in for a complete strip and refin in black(should put me back another $60 or so, ho-hum). $95 will get you only so far, but we'll see how this things turns out. I have a feeling only a little TLC will get my friend a passable first Tele or sorts.
Observe the sickening horror.
So I meet the guy and he gives me the story. Old alder body from the early 90s, recently built neck with 12" radius, showing some wear around the first 3 frets but straight as an arrow and feels like a comfy modern thin deal of sorts, rings pretty well on .10s, acoustically twangs like a Tele. $100 easily covering the cost of the pickups, I look the thing over and see an interesting finish crack of sorts on top and notice how the thing has a dulled matte finish, being as he says "A well used guitar from the '90s". Stupid of me for not looking at it in the sunlight or under decent lighting, but I say what the heck and take the thing home.
A little finger working around the lower horn reveals that the whole top and back black finish are a very well-applied sticker! Ultrafooled but not thwarted, I peel things back to reveal a photofinished ugly birdseye image under a tacky wineburst, done over a nicely weighted alder body. I almost immediately dropped it off at my friend's repair joint, and he took it in for a complete strip and refin in black(should put me back another $60 or so, ho-hum). $95 will get you only so far, but we'll see how this things turns out. I have a feeling only a little TLC will get my friend a passable first Tele or sorts.
Observe the sickening horror.
Last edited by ultratwin on Tue Jun 30, 2009 9:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Yar, no smoke and mirrors with this one. I'm optimistic, though.
Although it'll never be seen in the above state again, I guess it's safe for us to hereby recognize the existence of the bound and gagged placenta burst with intricate uterine wall figuring.mage wrote:haha, dear god. looks like something out of resident evil
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you're not alone...St. Jimmy wrote:okay, i'm about to get booty-raped, but for some reason, i don't HATE the finish under the black sticker (LOL). i mean, i wouldn't make it my first choice...but for some reason that tall glass of cocksucker ain't to bad...
fuck. liking that hideous green guard and now this, what's happening to me?
- endsjustifymeans
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Welcome to the dark side. Now paint your axe neon pink.Zaphod wrote:you're not alone...St. Jimmy wrote:okay, i'm about to get booty-raped, but for some reason, i don't HATE the finish under the black sticker (LOL). i mean, i wouldn't make it my first choice...but for some reason that tall glass of cocksucker ain't to bad...
fuck. liking that hideous green guard and now this, what's happening to me?
dots wrote:society is crumbling because of asshoels like ends
brainfur wrote:I'm having difficulty reconciling my desire to smash the state & kill all white people with my desire for a new telecaster
endsjustifymeans wrote:speaking of awful tele finishes...
http://cgi.ebay.com/SX-TELECASTER-EASY- ... dZViewItem
EMILY DIPPED!
Don't want it, but right now my inner child wants a cookie and doesn't hate that nearly as much as I had expected.
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ha ha ha. what's happening is that your tastes are expanding beyond what fender's standard shit is. lol...i just tend to like crazy shit...mind, neither of my current working guitars are bizarre...and the Cindicaster will be kept pretty well as it is...but after that, i have a hankering...and it may even be a bass.Zaphod wrote:you're not alone...St. Jimmy wrote:okay, i'm about to get booty-raped, but for some reason, i don't HATE the finish under the black sticker (LOL). i mean, i wouldn't make it my first choice...but for some reason that tall glass of cocksucker ain't to bad...
fuck. liking that hideous green guard and now this, what's happening to me?
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I LOVE ugly guitars... but that's just too much. I could stomach it if they didn't tie die the headstock too.ultratwin wrote:endsjustifymeans wrote:speaking of awful tele finishes...
http://cgi.ebay.com/SX-TELECASTER-EASY- ... dZViewItem
EMILY DIPPED!
Don't want it, but right now my inner child wants a cookie and doesn't hate that nearly as much as I had expected.
dots wrote:society is crumbling because of asshoels like ends
brainfur wrote:I'm having difficulty reconciling my desire to smash the state & kill all white people with my desire for a new telecaster
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- endsjustifymeans
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Frankly with a black guard and some chrome on it... I think it'd have a cool 60's/70's vibe to it.St. Jimmy wrote:Zaphod wrote:yeah but this isn't crazy, just tacky.
i mean wineburst birdseye maple? i should be blind in one eye by now.
ha ha ha. i hear ya dude...but really, i just like to see different shit, and it's okay to see different shit from time to time.
Seriously though... look at my taste.
dots wrote:society is crumbling because of asshoels like ends
brainfur wrote:I'm having difficulty reconciling my desire to smash the state & kill all white people with my desire for a new telecaster