It's too bad I'm just not that kind of guy.

I plan to do several things to this bad boy, just for the fun of it. I have a few questions, though, which I will relate at the end. My modifications as planned are:
*Replace crappy neck with '86 Fender Strat 22-fret neck.
*Replace crappy pups with something noise cancelling but not humbuckers.
*Install Hipshot or Bigsby mini.
*Replace pickguard with handmade leather replacement.
*Do something about the annoying bridge saddles.
*Body contours, maybe?
I think this guitar will be a whole lot of fun and cool looking to boot, once I'm done with it. There are a few hitches, though and I'd be grateful if anybody has got some ideas on a workaround.
1) I tried to simply switch up the neck but found out that the Strat neck is about an eighth inch wider than the chinese squier neck pocket. I'm not cutting the neck, so I'm gonna have to cut the body. Which side would be better to cut? Should I try to file both sides evenly? That'd be a real pain in the butt.
2) As much as it may seem like I want to bring this guitar all the way to it's American counterpart's specs, this is not entirely true. While I do want this axe to be a fun axe to play, I don't want to invest $200 on some Lace transducers or something over the top like that. I paid pennies for it and I'm unwilling to buy pups that cost more than the whole guitar. I caught wind of a DiMarzio Area T for pretty cheap. Has anyone had experience with this pup?
3) Has anyone ever seen a Tele with metal plate mounting for the bridge pup and a seperate strat-style hardtail bridge? As if the tele tailpiece thingy was cut into two pieces, seperating the pickup part from the saddle part. This is what I'd like, but I've looked on Stewmac and WD and can't find anything that fits the description...
That's it for now. Thanks in advance for any help that you can provide!