I know, I'm doing it wrong but what about an analog multi-effect unit made of your choice of pedals?
Custom small pedal board that comes in its own case. Rugged and road worthy.
I'd take a Comp, silicon dist, phase 100, delay that had a hidden ps, handle on the back, and a lid. (not that kind of lid)
Hmmm ... secret compartment may be a good idea too. For tuning forks obviously.
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