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Here is a song I just finished. It's about a ghost named Victoria. I'm probably a songwriter above all else. the recording is just a rough draft, I will work on filling out the song with my band. anyways, I couldn't find a way to host a streaming audio file so i put it on youtube. ignore the London Bridge pic, it's irrelevant.

[youtube][/youtube]

Quarter to midnight
And I’m all alone
I hear footsteps in the hall
But nobody’s home

It’s not real, it’s not real,
It’s not real, no
It’s not real, I hope it’s not real
It’s not real no

Victoria, lost on her way to heaven
Stopped in my bedroom
Came through the wall
Victoria, dressed in her best white linen
Or just a play of the moonlight
Maybe nothing at all

Victoria floated to my bed
Was maybe twenty years old
Don’t be alarmed, she said
Death is not cold

But you’re not real, you’re not real
You’re not real, no
You’re not real, I know you’re not real
You’re not real, no

Victoria, lost on her way to heaven
A beautiful dead girl
Came through the wall
Victoria, some transcendent phantom
Or a smear on the photograph
Maybe nothing at all

She’s not real, she’s not real
She’s not real, no
She’s not real, she’s not real
She’s not real, no

Victoria, she’s giving up on heaven
Said death is a mirror
Or maybe nothing at all

Oh…


im playing a 90's yamaha tele copy if anyone cares.

Very poppy and upbeat, would love to hear a finished version.
Also, this belongs in the "whore house" area.

Here is a song I just finished. It's about a ghost named Victoria. I'm probably a songwriter above all else. the recording is just a rough draft, I will work on filling out the song with my band. anyways, I couldn't find a way to host a streaming audio file so i put it on youtube. ignore the London Bridge pic, it's irrelevant.

[youtube][/youtube]

Quarter to midnight
And I’m all alone
I hear footsteps in the hall
But nobody’s home

It’s not real, it’s not real,
It’s not real, no
It’s not real, I hope it’s not real
It’s not real no

Victoria, lost on her way to heaven
Stopped in my bedroom
Came through the wall
Victoria, dressed in her best white linen
Or just a play of the moonlight
Maybe nothing at all

Victoria floated to my bed
Was maybe twenty years old
Don’t be alarmed, she said
Death is not cold

But you’re not real, you’re not real
You’re not real, no
You’re not real, I know you’re not real
You’re not real, no

Victoria, lost on her way to heaven
A beautiful dead girl
Came through the wall
Victoria, some transcendent phantom
Or a smear on the photograph
Maybe nothing at all

She’s not real, she’s not real
She’s not real, no
She’s not real, she’s not real
She’s not real, no

Victoria, she’s giving up on heaven
Said death is a mirror
Or maybe nothing at all

Oh…


im playing a 90's yamaha tele copy if anyone cares.

this thread should be deleted then i guess, i copied it in whore house. thanks rabbit.

It's nice! Keep it up.
Tho it's kinda long song for my taste. Liked the first verse/chorus.

blacktaxi wrote:It's nice! Keep it up.
Tho it's kinda long song for my taste. Liked the first verse/chorus.

thanks!
i thought it seemed long when i wrote it too, but the recording is just over 3.5 min. played it with the band last night and we added some extra solo on and took it to about 4 minutes. it sounded good, though i wrote it so recently i botched some of the words :/

i think it sounds really good, the recording reminded me a bit of an early velvets recording. nice voice too.

this song is FUCKING AMAZING. i love lo fi stuff like this when the melody is strong. can you use the uploader to post the mp3 of this demo version. Im sure it will sound good if you add stuff to it, but i like it the way it is. this song is catchy stuff.

i just did a little cover for it. probably sucks, but i put my own spin on it.

http://bestnetworx.com/uploader/files/5 ... 0cover.mp3

Fucking great work man. I had totally overlooked this thread... glad I came back to it.

Good stuff on both versions, the original is an excellent song.

Did you do Fawm? This song's lyrics are familar to me for some reason.

robroe wrote:i love lo fi stuff like this when the melody is strong.

thanks rob, i agree. i think your version captures that really well. i also really liked what you did in the "not real" parts, whwen it goes up first and then down on the second. it adds some good variety in that pretty repetitive part. i dig it.

here is the uploaded mp3

More Cowbell wrote:Did you do Fawm? This song's lyrics are familar to me for some reason.

Nope, but I just checked it out and it looks pretty cool.

jamc_89 wrote: here is the uploaded mp3

Was gonna ask for that, thanks.

i dig it.
i could see myself buying an album based on this one song. srsly.

robert(original) wrote:i dig it.
i could see myself buying an album based on this one song. srsly.

I agree!


Nice work for sure.

i really really like this song.

Good stuff dude- it's one of those songs that works REALLY well as minimal arrangement, it'd be a shame if it ended up as a "full band" song, but that's just my opinion

well i looked on whore house for this thread but couldnt find it, prob due to the fact its 5 mon. old but i wanted to say i really like the lyrics, and ive been playing with the melody and found something more pleasing to my ear...i was wondering if i could have permission to play it live, and maybe your name to give credit where credits due...

floydian8834 wrote:well i looked on whore house for this thread but couldn't find it, prob due to the fact its 5 mon. old but i wanted to say i really like the lyrics, and ive been playing with the melody and found something more pleasing to my ear...i was wondering if i could have permission to play it live, and maybe your name to give credit where credits due...

thanks! here is the whore house thread, i changed the title when i created it

http://www.shortscale.org/forum/viewtop ... t=victoria

i'm flattered you want to play it live, and you are more than welcome to. you can credit it to the band "Her Creators" if you do. you should definitely post your version, too, if you can manage even a crappy recording.