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My bridge pickup is sounding hella weak and my strangle switch doesn't do anything. I have a strong suspicion that the strangle is always on for the bridge pickup somehow.

I've tried like three different wiring diagrams for this shit, but they haven't made any difference. Is the third switch for strangle just busted or is the wiring screwy?

Wiring looks correct to me. I normally only hear a big difference with the strngle switch when using a heavy fuzz.

I always hear a big diff with the strangle switch, especially using both pickups and/or a Fender-style amp (clean and scoopy).

I presume "hot" from the bridge is the yellow cloth wire - it looks very close to the small tab of the switch body which grabs around the brown circuit board. Since that tab will be grounded, if the bare part of the pickup wire touches it, you will get a partial short to ground and it will sound very weak. Maybe push the cloth insulation forward to cover the bare wire?

Can't hurt to try. Otherwise start measuring hot-to-ground resistances on the pickups? Also make sure the jack socket is grounded snug to the plate.

Lastly - the shields in the cavities can "float" on the MIJs, one could be sitting up and touching something when the plates are screwed back into place.

I've been thinking about this and then it suddenly dawned on me, the answer was so simple.
You haven't routed it for a humbucker and put a super distortion in there.

Shouldn't strangle work when only neck pickup is on too? OR AT ALL? I'm frustrated as hell.

Should work with any combo of pickups on lead circuit.

Maybe a dirty/fried strangle switch?

Strangle switch works by either passing signal direct to the blue wire, leading to the master vol/tone circuit (switch is off) or by passing it through the capacitor and then to the master vol/tone. So if the switch doesn't work, something is bypassing the switch, or the capacitor is somehow getting bypassed. Since it's a ceramic cap it's not likely to have failed, so I think the middle lug on the switch in the pic, is somehow touching the cap leg soldered to the blue wire.